Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Online Dating

Online dating has mixed reviews for sure. I have been the butt of jokes for participating in online dating but at the same time I have had people tell me how it is now "socially acceptable". Either way I have seen two sides to online dating. I have seen the good side where a relationship really blossoms and something beautiful is made, or (in my case) I see how online dating can bring some not so great matches or really only bring friendship. For me online dating has created more friends, but I have had some horrible dates in the process.

The are so many dating sites now. I am sure finding the right site is a task in itself. I remember when I first started I thought about trying out e-harmony. I started filling out the survey so they could help me find my "perfect match" and then a screen popped up that asked for my credit card information. That is when I hit the back button. I am not paying for someone to find me dates. Although, I have been told that e-harmony and are the way to go, I still refuse to pay.

So then I pulled up my google bar and slowly typed in "free dating sites". I sat there as it loaded up pages and pages of free dating sites. I scrolled through a few and finally landed on I filled out the millions of questions that would help me match with another individual and went along my way waiting for my matches to come flowing in. I started getting e-mails but none of them were from people that really matched what I was looking for and some of them were no where even close to a match by OKcupids standards. I started to wonder, "why am I asked to fill out this damn quiz if anyone can try and date me?" Why not just put my picture up and say a few things about me and if I'm your type then bingo.

So I tried it out I went on about 3 dates from this site. All of them actually went pretty well. Each date helped me realize something, I am not ready for a serious relationship. The dating part is fun, I haven't ever done that until my recent divorce, so this dating thing is such an exciting experience that leaves me with millions of stories, but as for settling down...well I'm just not ready.

I start to question the online dating, though. I have met a few men that aren't really looking for a relationship but they are on these dating sites. Which I think is interesting to me, why be on a dating site then, right? I mean granted I don't want a serious relationship but I did want to date and see what was out there, so what are they doing? Then you have the people that want to move fast. They ask you all the personal questions and then try and push for something more before they even meet you. They explain how they want a family, a house, a nice job, and a great wife. My eyes always get big at that point because one I just got out of a marriage and two because I am only 23. Marriage just seems out of the question for me.

I respect the millions of people who are on these dating sites, in fact, I think it takes guts to be on one of those sites and to meet people you have never met before. At the same time, I think there has to be another way. For years people met people and found their match in the flesh, never using electronics to lead them to "the one", why can't we do that now. It almost takes the fun out of asking a stranger at a coffee shop on a date.

I am open to every one's opinion on this matter. Like I said, I really have not judgement towards it. I have met people who have amazing relationships and marriages and have met their mate online, I have just had some negative experiences...

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