I recently met a man, who I considered just friends. Recently I started notices signs that he may be pushing for more. He is very awkward, so even to call him a friend is pushing it. We had been working on music together and that was about it. Then I started noticing things that made me feel really uncomfortable. More than I had felt before when I was around him.
When I first met him I just thought he was a strange man. A man that had no social skills and no boundaries. He constantly pissed me off with how much he acted like he knew everything and like he was better than everyone. Everyone seemed to like him though, so I thought maybe I was overlooking something. So I thought, "hey give him a chance, maybe he could be a good friend."
I invited him up to hang out on the island with me for the first time. I introduced him to some good friends of mine on the island, and that was the beginning of his weirdness. Although he was very polite, he was so different. He did the thriller dance in the middle of this hippie type bar. He wouldn't drink (which was totally fine) but proceeded to make fun of us for drinking. It was very strange, but my dad and his gf seemed to like him so I considered just distancing myself and but trying to be a friend still.
Over time we talked a little less, but then he asked if I would like to jam together and work on some of the songs I wrote. It went well, at first. We had written numerous amounts of songs together and they all sounded great. Then he started getting pushy, he would order my son around, almost as if he was my sons dad. He started getting really controlling over the music, and even recorded the songs, and jokingly said, "now you can't sing these songs with anyone else, or I get some of the profit." I just laughed about it and even at that point it seemed oblivious to the situation.
So just recently I tried one last time and invited him back up to the islands. This time he seemed to take the controlling up a few notches. He started acting like he was more of a father figure to my son and then calling me "hun" and "babe". It gave me chills up my back. Even my dad and girlfriend felt uncomfortable. Then he started putting me down and making me feel worthless (well lets just say trying). Finally I got tired of it and started putting him in his place. Explaining to him what I saw him as. It was a very tense rest of the trip, and we ended up leaving that night, and mainly because I didn't want him around me or my family any longer.
As we drove back home, things seemed less awkward, but I started to put the pieces together a little. He thought there could be something more with us and really wants that something more. He had given me a chair of his when he was a child to give to Kayden, he has given me food and flowers, he wants to help me train for this marathon, and he tries to control me and when I go out and who I go out with. He listens to my problems but always seems to lead me away from the guys I am dating. He says he is dating a girl but on the weekend trip, he only called her one time and it was to leave her a voice mail. I'm not saying that he is a total creep, but I do recall the hug he gave me before he left and I felt so uncomfortable and vulnerable.
My dad called me the other day and expressed his worry for me. If you knew him, you would see how non-judgemental he is, and so for him to be concerned worried me more. It is really quite scary and makes me question my trust in people and how I open up to people. It is something I feel I may do too much, and hopefully getting out of this situation will be easier than I for see.