Wednesday, November 24, 2010


OK so this one isn't really a dating story, and honestly I will probably have more about being hit on then actually dating. I may be horrible at dating and picking who I date but I think I have way better stories about me or my friends being hit on.

I just recently moved to Northern Washington. I know out of the city, what was i thinking?? Anyway, so I moved up north and there is this cute little bar. It is the typical small town bar where everyone goes there and knows everyone so when I went there everyone knew I was new or didn't belong.

So this day I go in and walk up to the bar. There were two empty seats so I look over to the guy off to the right and say, "are these seat taken?"

He does the drunk wobble back and forth a bit and says, "ya both of them are...wait no I mean the one next to me isn't but the other one you have to sit next to me."

I stared at him and moved the chair away from him a bit and sat down. I looked the bartender and order a beer and grabbed the menu.

The guy next to me leans over basically all over me and breaths on me, "what are you order? Are you hungry??"

"uhhhh yes I'm hungry, and I'm ordering a chicken sandwich." I say a bit disturbed.

He looks at the bartender and practically screams, "hey I'll get what she is getting. So two of whatever she ordered. With tarter sauce."

My eyes at this point are huge and basically asking for help from any of the surrounding guests. Then I hear, "so what's your name." Now you have to imagine this being slurred by a skinny, trucker looking , mid 20's, male.

"My name is Lindsay, what is your name?"

"My name is Briiiiiaaaaannn. So whatcha do?"

"I'm an apartment manager Brian."

Brian closes his eyes a bit and squints, "how do you feel about that? I mean you are here and you manage apartments?"

" I am not sure what you mean."

"You know....You manage apartments and well you are here...ya know?"

" I don't know." and finally the food shows up. THANK GOD.

As our food is placed in front of us Brian says, " hakuna matata. Do you know what that mean?"

"yes it means no worried. Honestly, Brian, I think most people know that.?"

At this point brian gets all worked up and yells, "no, no!! I bet this guy next to me doesn't. Wanna bet?"

"Sure Brian I will bet you a beer he does." I really didn't care I was just hoping the conversation would end.

"Hey you," he said leaning all over the guy to his right. "Do you know what hakuna matata means."

Third party, nice male says," uhh no I honestly have no idea. I think I once knew but I don't"

I took a deep breath, "well Brian I owe you a beer."

Brian puts his arm around me and says, "no you owe me a kiss."

I lean away from him and state, "actually Brian the deal was a beer, NOT a kiss."

He tries to pull me closer, "You know it's worthy of a kiss, and you know you want to kiss me, come on."

Again I said no, and stood up and moved to the seat next to mine, further from him.

He stands up a bit swaying like there was some sort of breeze in the bar, "Oh what you are going to deny this? You want to kiss me and I was right so you owe me."

This is where I continued to eat and ignore him and text my friends about the situation. Then out of the corner of my eyes I see Brians arm lean over and he starts eating my fries. YES EATING MY FREAKING FRIES. So I have to comment at this point, "sooooo are you going to start drinking my beer next without asking."

Obviously I didn't think that comment through because his next reaction was to smile and lean over and try to grab my beer.

I finally was able to fully ignore him and just talk to the bartender, and after a while I believe he got tired of trying to get my attention and he put on his coat and left.

Shortly after he left another gentleman at the bar came up and said to me, "So did you enjoy talking to Slasher?"

Automatically my eyes got huge and I looked at him and hesitantly asked, "why is his name slasher?" Where after I was told how "slasher" had a girlfriend that one day disappeared and no one has seen or hear from her since.

At this point I am contemplating two things. One why did I move to this city, and two should I change my name???

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